That fucking song had been stuck in his head all day. Goddamnit, Bone Daddy was a horrible influence.
The sound of dishes being washed filled Goha’s ears when he passed by the kitchen. For a second he was just going to continue walking as usual, but given his current predicament and softening due to the terrible news, he stopped. Rose was inside taking care of the dishes, humming softly to herself. The damn song in his head berated him to take any opportunity he could, so he smirked to himself and snuck in the room behind her.
Her ear flicked backwards and she stopped humming. Oh, he knew she heard him. That was the best part. Rose usually hated it when she was interrupted in her household chores, and since she was usually the boss of the house, Goha would leave her be. But not tonight.
His eyes wandered to her rump, his smirk widening. She sighed loudly and grumbled at him to get out.
That’s when he struck.
A small squeak left her throat when his hand grabbed a fist-full of flesh. The stallion, tail lifted high, wrapped his free arm around her waist and rested his chin on the much taller mare’s shoulder, whinnying in bliss as she just grumbled and rolled her eyes.
“Goha, get out. Hands off my goods until I’m done, you know the rules.”
“Sorry, babe,” he chuckled, lifting his upper lip to smell that intoxicating scent she always reeked of, “I just thought I’d go digging for some extra gold before tonight.”
At the play on her name, Rose groaned extra loud and returned to her dishes. Goha couldn’t see her face, but he knew she was smiling the whole time, enjoying his old antics.
“You know, Ol’ Scythe, you may be very charming at times, but you’re still a stallion at heart.”
“Damn straight,” he nickered and nuzzled her softly. Oh yeah, I still got it.
((I’ve been working on this comic all day. akjgnskjdnb I started sketching at like 2, stopped, then finished it up for the past hour. WHYYY ATTENTION SPAN.
I just really like Goha’s relationship with Rose. It’s really cute in my opinion, and a fun aspect to play with in their lives because of the whole dynamics of horse relationships. Usually, they live in herds of up to… 20? horses? somewhere around there, with one lead stallion (and usually the ONLY stallion) and his harem, however there’s usually always one female he chooses as his lead female. Observations have been shown that stallions sometimes favor their lead mare more than the others and even will play with them during courtship in the rut season. Just, the whole idea of Goha doing this with Rose, despite having a harem outside of her, is fucking adorable. He also lives with just her and their children, though he visits his other mares when the time comes.
Also, the joke is funnier if you realize that Rose’s show (and gang) name is Gold Rush.))
Cuntsicle. Cute /snickers at the name before grumbling./
/His left ear swiveled back and pinned to his head as the other twisted to the side. She wanted to visit Dar-Mar? Shit. He looked around momentarily before shaking his head, rubbing the side of his muzzle./
I’d love t’let yeh see the shit we go through, but ‘m afraid I can’t. Y’see, they don’t treat humans - any humans - well in th’ part of the city I live. Anyone who ain’t an animal is pretty much signin’ up fer their body t’feel decades of wrath and pent-up rage. ‘Specially fer females….
Well at least someone thinks it’s cute.
// She huffed and shrugged the topic off, much more interested in Dar-Mar City than anything else. But, judging from how bad the smooth skins sounded there compared to NYC, she was probably better off not seeing it for herself. After all, she’d hate to break a heel against someone’s face for trying to take out their shit on the wrong girl. That, and she wasn’t particularly fond of fighting—she always left that part of her life up to the guys she met. //
I feel ya, I feel ya~
But how bad are the smooth-skinned cunts down at Dar-Mar? With the way ya talk about ‘em, I guess this shithole’s not all that terrible anymore.
/He paused a moment before continuing/
Imagine yerself tryin’ t’get a job. Yer walkin’ down th’streets, mindin’ yer own business. People are starin’ at’cha, but that didn’t phase yeh. People always stare, who gives a fuck. Now imagine the second you open the door to th’shop yer applyin at, the owner takes one look at’cha and says, “Get the fuck outta my shop, you disgusting piece of shit. I don’t want your presence smoggin’ up my customer’s air. Yer ugly, yer stupid, and yer not anything what I’m lookin’ for!” You stand there, shocked, before a few of the customers in th’shop get up and shove you out back onto th’streets, dirtyin’ the finest clothes you could afford in a puddle.
People begin walkin’ around you. They begin snickering, commenting to themselves. Someone throws a can at the back of yer head as y’walk home. You find yer car’s broken down, but not on its own. There’s spray paint on th’ windshield sayin, “Blue-haired bitch” on it, and it’s been broken into and everything’s been stolen. When y’try to get into the gas station closest to ya t’call fer a tow, you can’t even open the door. There’s a sign on it that says, “We don’t serve blue-haired white females.” Y’have t’walk three miles just t’get to a place that’ll serve ya. Meanwhile yer in the rougher side of town, and ya c’n hear women just like you gettin’ raped and mugged, shot and killed. And not just by the customers of th’diner. They’re being tortured by other women - women who are not white, but who happen t’be just a bit higher on the social caste system because they’re just that; born a different race than yeh.
By the time ya get home, you walk in t’yer significant other and see that once again y’have t’starve, because yeh just can’t get a job anywhere in town. Yer lover knows of a place y’can take th’bus to, but it pays lower than minimum wage since it’s run by other women jus’ like yeh who get nothin’ from th’government because they’re jus’ like the man in th’ diner and th’ people on th’streets. Even if yeh try changin’ yer hair color an’ yer skin color - which is possible where I live - y’still can’t get anywhere since th’ chip yer implanted with at birth makes sure t’reveal just who you were really born as.
That’s what it’s like t’be an animal in Dar-Mar. And the funny part? Dar-Mar, the whole continent, used ta be run by animals and full’a equality.
Humans just love t’fuck shit up fer the rest of th’environment around them.
Humans don’t know anything about hell. Everything they think they know is a made up fairy tail.
-his eyes studied the robotic leg as Scythe rolled up the bottom of his pants. It was obviously causing him a lot of pain. Some thing that Calcifer isn’t able to feel-
What happened? If you don’t mind me asking….
“Figures,” he mumbled to himself, enjoying the warmth on his leg from the fire.
“… If y’really want t’know, it’s cause’a…”
The other went quiet for a moment. His mind flashed back to the very day, unable to shake the vividness of the memory even with therapeutic remedies. Much younger, and a lot stranger, the stallion had been working on a large project brought in by a rather sketchy human individual.
“Hey, horse. Can you do me a favor? Fix up this old machine of mine. It’s an antique passed down in my generation. Just be careful, alright?”
He should’ve just said no. If he had known what the machine was, he would have- but how could he? No one had seen an agricultural disk harrow in ages. Hell, it didn’t even look like the ones he looked up on google - it was a bit more sinister, blades set up just right for the sort of accident that happened next.
“Y’see… Where I come from, I run a gang. I dunno if y’know what that is, but in reality it’s a large criminal organization, usually with one top dog and the rest of his lackeys. I jus’ happen t’run the most prominent one in the city, an’ the human government was beginnin’ t’worry about it ‘cause the main goal I have is t’overthrow their power and return it back t’the animals.
“I shoulda seen it comin’,” he grumbled softly, replaying the moment when the blades swung down and into his body over and over again, “some smooth skin in a suit comes in t’ma shop, asks me t’repair a piece o’ equipment no one has seen in decades… I figured it was jus’ a normal routine thing.”
The horrified face of his daughter and his wife who were helping him that day suddenly locked into his mind, causing him to close his eyes and squeeze them in an attempt to remove the horrible picture from his head.
“Th’machine went off while I was workin’ on it. Sliced m’leg right off, and sliced my torso into at least 6 different pieces. I shoulda died that day, but o’course bein’ as powerful in the animal world as I am, they didn’t wanna miss an opportunity they could use…
“So, with th’very same technology they use to save car accident patience from death, they swooped in just in the nick of time and saved me. I use th’term loosely because I’d rather they have just let me die…”
He sat upright and lifted the bottom of his shirt, revealing his torso. It was completely inorganinc, the outer shell of it just that - a casing made of individual bendable glass-like pieces that bore the inside of his body. It currently only showed his skeleton - false ribs, spine, and pelvic bone - but if he wanted it to, he could show the other his organs and even his entire nervous system.
“It was a double-edged blessin’, though. I got t’live til now, and m’kids didn’t have t’grow up fatherless.
“The humans plans of controllin’ me has so-far failed, since they don’t think I’m smart enough to figure out what’s goin’ on, but they’re slowly catchin’ up. It’s only a matter o’time before they off me fer good.”
Scythe looked up at the little flame after leaning on his knees again and offered a bitter and tired smile, one of a creature who’d seen a lot and suffered even more. There was something else he would’ve shared, but figured that information was enough for Calcifer at the moment.
Headcanon: Goha hates books because they remind him of the fact that he’s illiterate and where he comes from that just mean’s hes another poor animal on the lower side of the “food chain”/caste system. It both pisses him off and terrifies him, because he worries about what the books might be saying that he needs to know - or would never want to know - but can’t find out.
He only knows the Legends because they’re in picture format, and his wife can read Legendary (which is the language the books/manuscripts were written in) so she read the captions to him while he figured the rest out via the pictures.
They mean a lot to him because they’re the only “books” he’s ever “read,” and that means a LOT to him because of the previously mentioned reasons.
Since horses usually live in herds with one [lead] stallion and one lead mare, the rest being mares (or rarely, the one stallion the leader has to help protect his massive harem or something idk entirely about that situation)
So he like lives with his lead mare (which is why he calls her that as well as “wife” since to horses it’s SORTA the same thing? sorta) Rose while his other ladies usually live in places either near by him or elsewhere, and they’re always there when he’s in his stronghold but leave him alone otherwise
its just FUNNY TO ME because idk imagining goha with a harem is just funny as hell since he’s so humanized YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN?
and the fact that there’s nothing wrong with it since they’re animals makes it better because it breaks my human brain
that and im pretty sure he doesn’t try to have kids with the other ladies since his dna requires that stupid mineral so hes just like “if you get pregnant you’re sol because i’m taking precautious not to but you obvs wanted to deal with it so good luck heres a handout on how to take care of the kids bye”
i mean he takes CARE of them similarly to how you’d pay child support or some sort of allowance but I JUST IT MAKES ME LAUGH SO HARD BECAUSE ITS GOHA CRYING
Wimpys Little Step
(Nu Chex To Cash x Leolita Step)
2 MILLION DOLLAR SIRE
Offspring Earnings in excess of $2,800,000+
2011 NRHA Hall of Fame
2002 NRHA Futurity Champion
2002 AQHA Congress Open Reining Futurity Champion
2012 Breeding Fee: $8,500
Includes $1,000 Booking Fee
$7,500 if booked by 12/31/11 - $6,500 if paid in full by 12/31/11
LIFETIME FEE: $8,500
$7,500 if booked by 12/31/11
(locked in at this rate, 1 breeding per year)
Standing at Xtra Quarter Horses
RANCH PHONE & BREEDING: 405.527.5008
RANCH FAX: 405.527.0513
PROMOTIONS AND MARKETING: 817.614.9161
Owned by Xtra Quarter Horses
((First part is a bit laggy, but it’s still good. It fixes itself after that.
Goha voice headcanon, though it lacks a certain fullness that fits him more))